Understanding and Respecting Pronouns
At Hilltop, our mission is to create connections that build a community where everyone belongs. A key part of fostering belonging is ensuring that everyone feels seen, respected, and valued. Using the correct pronouns for someone is a simple but powerful way to show respect and promote inclusivity.
What Are Pronouns?
Pronouns are words we use to refer to people in place of their names. For example:
- She/her
- He/him
- They/them
- Other pronouns, like ze/zir or xe/xem
Using someone’s correct pronouns is just like calling them by their name—it acknowledges and affirms their identity.
They/Them Pronouns
- They/them pronouns are used as gender-neutral pronouns.
- They are commonly used by people who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, or anyone who prefers not to be identified strictly as male or female.
Examples in Use:
- Singular They/Them:
- “Alex forgot their book at home.”
- “Can you let them know the meeting starts at 3 PM?”
- “Taylor said they would join us for lunch.
Is “they” grammatically correct?
Yes! The singular “they” has been used in English for centuries. For example:
-
- “Someone left their phone on the table.”
- It was even recognized by major dictionaries like Merriam-Webster.
What Are Neopronouns?
Neopronouns are pronouns beyond the traditional “he,” “she,” and “they.” People use neopronouns to better align with their gender identity or as a form of self-expression. They can be entirely new words or adapted from existing language forms.
Examples of Neopronouns:
- Common Neopronouns:
- xe/xem/xyr (pronounced “zee/zem/zeer”)
- ze/hir/hirs (pronounced “zee/heer/heers”)
- ey/em/eir (similar to “they/them/their” but without “th”)
- Creative or Thematic Neopronouns:
- fae/faer/faers (sometimes connected to nature or fantasy themes)
- star/starself (used for a cosmic or unique identity expression)
How to Use Neopronouns in a Sentence:
- Xe/xem/xyr:
- “Xe went to the store.”
- “I saw xem at the park.”
- “That is xyr jacket.”
Why Pronouns Matter
- Respect and Inclusion: Using the correct pronouns shows that you respect someone’s identity and value them as an individual.
- Avoiding Assumptions: We can’t know someone’s pronouns by appearance alone. Asking and using the correct pronouns helps avoid misgendering, which can be hurtful.
- Building Trust: When people feel respected, they’re more likely to feel safe and included, strengthening our connections and our community.
How to Ask About Pronouns
If you’re unsure of someone’s pronouns, it’s okay to ask politely:
- “What pronouns do you use?”
- “Can you remind me of your pronouns?”
You can also share your own first to create a welcoming space:
- “Hi, I’m [Name], and I use [pronouns]. How about you?”
Mistakes Happen
If you accidentally use the wrong pronoun:
- Apologize briefly and sincerely.
- Correct yourself and move on.
For example: “She—sorry, they—mentioned a great idea in the meeting.”
Small Actions, Big Impact
Including pronouns on name badges or in email signatures, and practicing their use in daily interactions, can help make our community more welcoming.
By embracing the practice of sharing pronouns, we strengthen our mission to create connection to build a community where everyone belongs.
Add pronouns to your name badge here
Additional Resources:
Human Rights Campaign: Pronouns 101